Rex's Rejections
by TheDoctorCT-21-0408
Summary: Have you wondered what Rex does in his spare time? Thinking of how to cach Ahsoka's eye, of course. Will he ever succeed in convincing Ahsoka he's the man for her? Crackfic.
1. Chapter 1

**Short little drabble type-things(Jimmy Neutron reference). Characters are OOC for humor purposes. I don't own Star Wars.**

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The name's Rex, Captain Rex. And I've had issues with a girl, not just any girl. Ahsoka, a young Padawan, with beautiful eyes like diamonds. What she doesn't know is ... She's older than me in a strange way. Being a modified clone trooper, I may look 20 years old, but your eyes deceive you, I'm actually 12 years old. Yes, it's a strange thing to think about that the girl I like hasn't figured this out. When she does accept me I'll look like I'm 60 ( and no girl wants a 60 year old husband, right ?)

Here are some attempts to ... Impress her (not that any of these worked)

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Attempt 1: Superhero

Side note: Don't insult me for reading too many superhero comics in my spare time.

It was one day when I was reading "Super Trooper". In it, the main hero saved the girl. Later on they stared kissing, then the stupid idea hit me. I could wear a cape and save Ahsoka. Perfect ... Not.

I had no option but to save her from a party. I stayed back a bit to change into a cape. But disaster waited for me when I arrived. Ahsoka was dancing with another Padawan! But that wasn't all, every one laughed, including her. Not to mention the guitar player hit a sour note. I was insulted for a month :(

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Attempt 2: Naboo Floatie

Side note: Even though Kamino was a water planet ... They forgot to teach us swimming lessons!

One day I was in the lobby of the senate building, guarding the senate members. Booooorrrrring, so I browsed the brochures. A particular one caught my eye. " Naboo, romance planet."

"Ding, ding, ding!" my mind yelled for joy "Date city!" I couldn't help but dance about. So, as soon I could, I called for tickets. Now the only thing left to do was call Ahsoka!

But when I did she plainly said "no." You guessed it, folks, a big fat "no."

I was depressed. Oh, well, I still have tickets. But that's not all folks, when I got to the lake she was with ... The other Padawan. Then she noticed me in my duck floatie and giggled. She told her "boyfriend" about my floatie and he laughed too. I never got over that.

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Attempt 3 : Ice Cream incident

Side note: It's not exactly an attempt ...but hilarious! Not to mention priceless.

It was hot that day, not like it ever snows on Tatooine or rains. Recon mission again, just what I wanted.

"No straying, troopers." were Anakin's orders. But he and Ahsoka have been gone for a while. So as a curious trooper, I looked for them. Soon I approached a glorious ice cream truck.

"Empty. That's strange." I thought. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a priceless sight. Ahsoka and Anakin kissing on the mouth. They had been there for about 2 minutes. Suddenly the truck tipped over. They stopped kissing and saw me.

"It was Ahsoka!" Anakin said blushing and still hugging her. (Yeah, right, 2 minutes sounds like you both wanted to)

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**There will be more drabbles later. Reviews are nice, as long as they aren't flames. Thanks! **

**One more thing- the side notes in the fanfic aren't author notes.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry that this chapter is short. I guess it's more of a oneshot. There will be more to come. **

**Disclaimer- I don't own Star Wars**

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Attempt 4: The Swapping Incident

Side note: This one was one of the most embarrassing moments ever!

It was a couple weeks after Ahsoka kissed Anakin, so she was still mad at me (finally a mood change), and I wanted to make it up to her. That's when my lightbulb dinged, the Jedi ball.

"Ding, ding!" (Okay, I really need that dinging to be shut off)

Now all I needed was to take my tuxedo to the dry cleaners (yes we do have dry cleaners in the facility). So I grabbed the first and best tuxedo in my closet and headed to the dry cleaners, run by a little old Mon Calamari lady.

There was a long line of other clone troopers and customers, that seemed to never move. Hours later, it was my turn and the Mon Calamari lady took my suit. When walking back to my room I noticed Cody whispering to her. Well, it's nothing to worry about, I had thought.

After watching my favorite soap opera "The Haters", I ran back down to get my tuxedo for the ball. The place was still crowded with clone troopers (no wonder since there's over one thousand of us), so it took a lot of shoving to get to the front. And thankfully she had the zipped up bag ready for me. Now that the suit was clean, I would have to wait until the party.

Two days later...

It was almost time for the party, my mind replayed a scene of me dancing with Ahsoka (sigh). I ran to my closet and grabbed the large bag and danced to the bathroom. I excitedly opened the bag and put on the suit. And I pranced to the door. Surprisingly Ahsoka was there, but why was she giggling? That's when I noticed, my suit was PINK! PINK, I tell you, PINK! Why hadn't I noticed that before. That wasn't all that happened, her boyfriend was there too. I decided to stay home, it was already too much with Ahsoka knowing.

While I was moping about, another thought hit me, about who was behind this. _Cody._

Stupid Cody, he paid the Mon Calamari lady to swap suits. Oh, how I hate him! ( I was laughed at for two months, Ahsoka told everyone). Now I'll have to get back at him, and I think I know how.

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**That's all for now, folks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**This one is the most drabble-like so far. **

**Disclaimer: Star Wars isn't mine :(**

**Anything in parentheses is commentary from Rex**

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Attempt 5: The monstrous pet

Side note: Rex is bantha poodoo. No, wait, bantha poodoo is better ha ha!

(Okay, next time I catch you in my diary, Cody, you're dead meat.)

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It's going to be hard telling this one since it was so horrible. It all started one day when I was passing a pet store on Coruscant. That's when the bell went off, which turned out to be my comlink.

Message from Cody:

_Can I tell the story, Rex?_

I reluctantly agreed, unaware of how things were from his 'point of view'

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**Cody's point of view**

Well, it's nice to finally tell the story from my point of view. When Rex saw the pet shop, he was dancing in circles. General Kenobi had to yell at him to get him to stop. Later, on the comlink, Rex called me and told me to pick up an order at the shop. So, being the friend and brother I am, I did. But not without a little tweaking.

You see, I only want Rex to stop embarrassing himself (And laughing while doing that, hmm very suspicious). So I told the lady, for some credits, to put a dangerous pet in there.

You should have seen Ahsoka's face when she got a mynock. Priceless. That includes the hours of yelling at Rex (Okay, remind me to kill you later and make it look accidental.)

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**Like I said, it was more of a drabble type-thing. Next chapter will be up soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Star Wars still isn't mine**

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Revenge

Side note: Rex, I forgot to mention how much I hate you.

(Need firefighters for that burn, Cody?)

Hi, journal, Cody again. Sick of me yet?

Well, Rex thought it would be best if I told the story again. It all started on my first date with Bariss. I had asked her the night before after recon and guess what she said? Yes! I had the whole thing planned out perfectly until Rex came along.

Here's the list for the date:

1. Dinner

2. Go to the fair

3 . Stroll in the park

4. Kiss

It was a puny list, but I knew it would work. So we left and went to the best restaurant in the area. Our waiter looked familiar, and I wonder who that could be? (*cough* It wasn't me). Soon, the platters of food arrived. I dug in while Bariss watched.

"Uh, isn't that bantha and mynock boogers on your burger?" She said, wrinkling her nose. I looked down and finally noticed the slime coming out of my burger. I had to run for the bathroom. Yucky. (You deserved that)

Next on the list: go to the fair

But when we got there we saw... Rex, who was running a booth. Bariss thought we should support his booth. Little did I know what the booth was.

"No, Bariss, you go on I'll wait here." I smiled at her.

Then it happened, REX KISSED MY GIRLFRIEND!

I should have seen it coming, he had set up a kissing booth. Right after that, Ahsoka came up and talked to Rex for a while about 'Setting up a kissing booth.' Still flaming, I dragged Bariss away. (Ahsoka said no to me smooching her, sob)

The park went well until wamp rats attacked us. The time before the kiss was fine, until the bridge broke and we fell into the sewage system (I just couldn't let you have all the fun). Bariss probably won't accept another date again. (I feel your pain, Ahsoka didn't kiss me, she rejected me for the 100th time)


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow, thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews! This chapter is definitely a drabble, and contains a guest appearance by a sorta minor TCW character.**

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Attempt 6: the misunderstood incident

Cody: Rex I'm not gonna say burn, I'm gonna say...double burn!

Rex: remind me to tell Barriss you still sleep with a teddy bear.

Sorry, Cody's laughing too much to tell this one, so it's me, Rex. So, one day I overheard General Skywalker talking to Kenobi about Ashoka in prison level 15. So I excitedly decided to bring her cupcakes.

Later, after the cupcakes were finished, I walked down to the prison cell, carrying my gift. But, when I got there and opened the door I saw Ahsoka talking to Boba.

"Mine!" I yelled, dropping the cupcakes and hugging her.

"What do you mean, 'Mine!'" she said, pushing me off.

"I called dibs on her first, kid." I tried to give my best stink eye, but it probably failed.

"Geez, idiot, she was only being a friendly." Boba muttered, glaring at me. Ashoka grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the room. She slapped my helmet and fast-walked away. People are right, love does hurt.


	6. Chapter 6

**More from Cody's POV**

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Cody's revenge: Movie theater.

Side note: Heh heh, I'm so evil

Rex: Cody, I hate you, I just hate you.

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Rex was too angry to tell this one, so it's me, Cody. It started when Rex asked Ahsoka to go to the movies with him, and she finally said yes to the idiot. But I, Cody, wasn't going to let him off easy with a perfect date (Game on, bro).

Later, when the two of them arrived at the theater I was ready, in disguise as a ticket seller. I gave them the wrong tickets (That's why we watched the stupid Rotta movie). So, instead of "Romance on Naboo", they watched "Rotta and the Missing Jelly Bean." (Well, Rotta never found the jelly bean, so it's pretty much worthless). Next I put sand in their popcorn, along with wampa spit. Their drinks were sugar water with pulpy paper (You're a bad chef, Cody). They had bad seats too, right behind some Kaminoans. Also, I left a surprise on Rex's seat (Yeah, bantha poo!). I made sure that the movie really stank, so I turned off the sound. Afterwards, I led Ahsoka away from Rex and to the door. And I know for certain she never went on another date with him. (Yeah, she yelled at me for an hour, oh how I love to hear her voice!)


End file.
